An attractive young woman approaches you in a bar. Before you can work out how it became your lucky night, you hear this: “Can you buy me a drink?”
Or you’re talking with an unusual beauty, or maybe dancing, and she provides you with the old, “Have you been going to buy me a drink?”
So how will you handle this case? Buy her a drink or not? And what does one say in this regard?
If you’ve been around the block only a little, you’ve probably come to realize that it’s usually not advisable to respond to these drink requests in an optimistic fashion. For most reasons…
1.) Club drinks are often very expensive and will drain your wallet fast.
2.) She may possibly not be attracted for you at all and simply be using you to finance her night out.
3.) She may already be out with some guy, and once she gets her drink, she returns to him and completely ignores you (it happens).
4.) Most of all, buying her a drink runs the danger of framing your interaction as you where you’re seeking her approval! You are the pursuer and she could be the prize that must definitely be won.
Now, it is possible that she really IS into you, and this is just her way to get to know you better 外約. If that’s the case it’s doubtful that she even cares in regards to the drink. Remember, I said possible, not probable. Or there may be some chemistry going on that you could feel and she says it.
Is it “easier to be safe than sorry” or to “throw caution to the wind” and buy her the drink anyway?
That begs the question: so how exactly does one protect themselves in this instance without looking stingy, rude, or just odd? And so how exactly does one refuse the request without running her off?
The trick here is to turn the tables, and not ensure it is about buying a drink to choose her up, but about her asking for a drink because she wants to choose YOU up!
This is a subtle difference. In a single scenario, you’re putting yourself at a disadvantage. In another, you’re making it so she needs to prove for you she’s worth your time and money.
So let’s say the lady asks you “Can you buy me a drink?” Try smiling, tilting your head and saying, “I dunno. Last time I did so that a woman tried to make the most of me later.”
This really is important because you’re not saying “Yes” or “No.” You’re steering the interaction in an alternative direction, one where you are in control.
Your ex will either laugh, look at you funny, or ask you to tell the story. If she wants a story, give her an excellent one. Or even, say. “Think it’ll work again this time around?”
It’s funny how often this creates a great situation for you. Many, many women say yes, and will often pull a couch to talk with you about it. If she says no, then tell her you appreciate her honesty, change and leave. Oddly enough, women like this tend to seek you out later in the evening.